Addicted to Stress.
“I’m SCRESSEEEDDD OUUUUWWWTTT!!!!” Probably one of my most used phrases. I consciously feel pressure, and love being under the clock. Recently, I’ve observed my need for stress is not a phase, it’s a real deal issue that I want to get a handle on. For as long as I can remember, I loved deadlines, and checklists. There is something magical about accomplishment. I want to dig deeper and ask you all, can accomplishment be addicting?
Let’s analyze this for a second; the thrill you feel when you cross something off your list, is that joy for being accountable or an emotion you’ve been searching for? My truth is, I love saying “I did it” who doesn’t right? However, the expense of that can be deadly. My passions can sometime have me lose sleep, miss important events, and even get physically ill. Is that joy? Absolutely not. This is where discovering your despondency level and how to reduce it comes to play. Despondent people enjoy pain ; not physical pain, but mental pain. They will create situations they know are bad, and remain unnecessarily.
I discovered I was a despondent after losing 2 Best Friends of 12 years plus. Receiving and administering unnecessary pain for that length of time was pure insanity. Conflict is never fun, and despondents are fearful of it. Attempting to avoid it, we tolerate instead of acknowledging. In no way does this make a despondents weak, it only identifies with their language of communicating. I know several despondents who are so strong minded, yet weak in the confrontation department. Sound familiar? As I approach 32, I’m doing my best to break stereotypes and cross over uncharted territory. Stress is unhealthy, and can have some very intense results. While my communication language with myself works best under stress, I need to disrupt that. It will be an ongoing battle, but I know it must happen. Now, let me be clear, despondency is not procrastination. Some just work better when they know they have limited time. For me, when I have too much time, I get to indescive, and nothing gets done LOL. Here are some affirmations I’m giving myself to eliminate my despondency:
1. Remember you are reward, not the accomplishment.
2. The more pressure you add, the less freedom you will have.
3. Never forget quality of quantity.
Create healthy platforms, and build away from self destruction.
Brittney ‘Genuine Gemini’ Baker